


the letters you never sent (but should have)

by jumitaco



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Some angst, but like mostly just the bad cliches, dumb gays, kinda (re)meet ugly, many fluff, your honor these men are simps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29535348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumitaco/pseuds/jumitaco
Summary: That one post that said vampires are dumb and forget about things they did many, many years ago. Such as one of them sends love letters that the other doesn’t see until one day, oh look they’re in a museum. Wait what do you mean this letter is about me?
Relationships: Ootori Kyouya/Suoh Tamaki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	the letters you never sent (but should have)

**Author's Note:**

> basically canon ouran takes place in an older time period, the host club becomes vampires, and tamaki and kyoya lost contact because of gay drama

Tamaki Suoh enjoyed being a vampire. He really did.

The thing was... there were a few things that tended to slip his mind every so often.

For instance,

He’d spent many an awkward moment standing on his coworkers’ doorsteps waiting to be invited in. To his relief, many of them had children of their own who were always eager to have him come inside and play, having recognized him from the community center. He hadn’t worked there long, but the children seemed to enjoy his piano lessons and the rare event that he helped chaperone their activities.

That was another thing he forgot to be cautious of. Children had no self-preservation. Chaperoning them always ran the risk of enthusiastic roughhousing or dangerous projects which almost always end in numerous scrapes, cuts, and bruises. Tamaki’s had to excuse himself one too many times when the scent of blood simply became way too overwhelming.

With a sigh, Tamaki recalled how the twins’ bickering usually ended the same way.

The mirror thing was simply an annoyance. Tamaki knew he looked good, always. He didn’t need to see himself to prove it. However, because of this he tried his hardest to avoid the center’s dance studio lest a distracted mini ballerina noticed his lack of reflection.

Almost as ridiculous as the mirrors was the aversion to garlic. Tamaki had no severe reaction to it aside from some unsightly gagging once its taste registered on his tastebuds. This was an unfortunate situation seeing as the kids at the center had a fondness for pizza and cheesy garlic bread. Tamaki remembered Honey’s similar fondness for sweets.

Of course, the one thing that he never seemed to grasp was just exactly how long he had lived. Some days he met up with Mori for coffee, watched him as he casually texted Honey with his brand new cellphone. He would remember how Mori had seemed just as casual wearing armor and bearing a sword at his hip. On the other hand, he would randomly mention the fall of an empire he’d rather enjoyed to Haruhi on those rare occasions that she dragged him away from the community center for the day. She would always look up at him with exasperation until he remembered she’d been part of the opposing empire during that century.

Part of the reason Tamaki refused to acknowledge how long his existence had lasted was because it forced him to admit how long it’s been since he last saw _him_. Of course, it wasn’t Tamaki’s fault he hadn’t seen him in so long. Though some days he wished he knew why it’d been so long.

Tamaki’s wish came true rather abruptly.

* * *

He had agreed to chaperoning the community center kids on a trip to the local museum on the grounds that there was very little chance that they would injure themselves. Just as he was leading his group out of the geology exhibit—he too had enjoyed looking at the shiny rocks—something else managed to catch his eye. “A Tragedy of Love to Rival Romeo and Juliet’s!” the sign over the exhibit read. Tamaki quickly ushered his group in the exhibit’s direction, curiosity piqued. They reached an information plaque in front of a glass case in the center of the exhibit which Tamaki read softly to himself. “Experience the story of these estranged lovers as they become separated by fate and unfortunate circumstances. The remnants of these salvaged letters hold the words exchanged by these discreet partners as their relationship is held at bay by familial legacies and at last, by fatal injury.”

Frowning, Tamaki turned his attention to the letters. In his opinion, the handwriting of the letters seemed to belong to the same person, very familiar handwriting at that. Nearly all of the letters were torn, burnt, or water-damaged in some way, making only short fragments and passages legible to the reader.

“...your presence at my side brightens my life more than the sunniest day.”

“Each time we depart from each other, my head is only filled with thoughts of seeing you again, my dear...”

“...my dear... each day, it grows harder to keep this secret...”

Eyes flitting over each beautifully written section, Tamaki stopped on the second to last letter. It seemed to be the most intact of the bunch and read like a final goodbye. A goodbye he himself had never gotten.

“...I will never understand you. And I am afraid I will never get the chance. And it would be no one’s fault but my own.

You say I am afraid to show love. You could not be more wrong. I am afraid of receiving it. Of knowing how it would feel to be held in your arms, to be the only person you see in a crowd of thousands. To have felt your love only to know it it not mine to keep.

I could never love you the way I want to simply because it has no part in the path was laid out for me. Likewise, you shall never know of the love I hold for you as it is not part of the legacy you are destined to uphold. And to that, all I can say is that fate has been cruel to us,

 _my dear Tamaki_.

Love,

 _Kyoya_ ”

Tamaki nearly choked. He knew that signature, had longed to see it again so many times throughout the centuries. With shaking hands, he moved on to the last letter which read differently from the others, was just a bit sloppier, and all the more damaged.

“...please, Tamaki... ~~I should have been there.~~

...hope you are okay...

 **PLEASE** be alright.

I couldn’t bear...

 _I love you_.

Kyoya”

This was too much. Tamaki had tried his hardest not to let thoughts of Kyoya overwhelm in recent years. And now, Kyoya’s words, his secret, stared him right in the face. Obviously the letters were never sent, had never actually reached their recipient. _Things might’ve turned out better if they had_ , Tamaki thought.

Visibly distressed, Tamaki saw his group back to the center then wearily dragged himself home. Heart tight in his chest, he sank against the wall and pulled out his phone. He called Haruhi.

* * *

“Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight,” Haruhi huffed over the phone. “So you’ve been in love with Kyoya Ootori since you first met. Is that right?”

“Mhm,” Tamaki assented pitifully.

“And out of nowhere he simply stopped reaching out to you?”

“Mhm.”

“And this was after you were turned. You’re absolutely sure he was turned to?”

“Mhm.”

“And you’re finding out now after all these years that he had loved you back, even though you never confessed to him in the first place. That he attempted some form of communication after the event that led to your turning and you heard nothing from since?”

“Mh- Haruhi how exactly is any of this helping with my situation? I want, no, need to see him again but I have no idea if he even wants to see me in the first place or why he stopped communicating so abruptly.”

Haruhi hummed, “...senpai, was he ever told you were turned? That you’re still alive now?”

Tamaki scoffed, “Well, of cou- oh.” Thinking back, Tamaki himself couldn’t quite recall all that transpired post-turning into a vampire. He supposed it was mostly his parents fussing over he’d still be able to continue the Suoh legacy as they had planned. “I, I guess, perhaps not...”

“Then go get your man.”

And Tamaki did. Or he tried at least. His first thought was to reach out to Honey seeing as he was the most likely to still be in contact with the rest of their old club members. Turns out Honey was no help, but he did point him to Mori who mentioned bumping into Kyoya once. When Tamaki asked the older man about it, he simply nodded and said Kyoya had been meeting up with one of the Hitachiin twins. Vaguely affronted by this, Tamaki tried Hikaru first. The older Hitachiin twin had no clue what he was talking about and so passed the phone over to his twin. Kaoru confirmed that he still met up with Kyoya, leading Tamaki to spill about his current situation and wanting to confront Kyoya about the letters he never sent. At that, Kaoru laughed over the phone and agreed to tell Tamaki where he might find Kyoya, his parting words were, “Don’t let him go this time, Boss.”

* * *

 _This was a mistake_ , Tamaki thought while standing in front of the bookstore. The place seemed small and cozy, very non-Kyoya in Tamaki’s mind. Perhaps Kyoya had changed. That would explain why the other former host club members hadn’t arranged this meeting earlier. Or worse, what if Kyoya didn’t remember him at all?

Taking the welcome mat on the doorstep as his invitation, Tamaki entered the bookstore, trepidation in every step. He nearly jumped when he heard the bell over the door ring, signaling his entrance.

“Be with you in a moment!” a voice called from deeper within the store. _Oh that voice_. Tamaki recounted lovingly all the many times that voice had scolded him and reminded him to be responsible for his club. So wrapped up in memories, he didn’t notice the figure approaching the entrance. He was shaken from his thoughts by the very thing that had entrapped them, that voice. “Tamaki?”

Looking up, his gaze landed on a sight so familiar and yet so different. Kyoya dressed as impeccably as always. His straight dark locks combed to the side. He found slate grey eyes staring back at him, unobstructed by glass lenses. _Contacts_ , Tamaki thought, _one of the many wonders of modern technology_. Finally realizing that Kyoya was waiting for him to respond, Tamaki stuttered out the first word that came to mind, “M-mommy...”

Kyoya appeared taken aback at first but slowly began laughing that low, soft laugh of his at the old nickname the host club had given him. “Well come on upstairs then. I suppose we have much to talk about, Daddy.”

The upper level of the bookstore must be where Kyoya lived, Tamaki realized. Following the host up to his personal rooms, Tamaki went over their meeting of mere seconds ago in his head. He settled himself on the couch in the living room while Kyoya prepared and brought over tea for them. _Old habits_ , Tamaki thought. Once Kyoya was seated beside him, Tamaki cut right to the chase, “You don’t seem very surprised to see me. Alive that is.” Kyoya’s eyes remained unapologetic, but he did look away from him, turning to pour the tea. “Did you know? This whole time, did you know I was alive? That I’d been turned?”

Kyoya nodded before raising a question of his own. “Why are you here Tamaki?”

“What?”

“I mean, why come see me now? After all this time, you would’ve known I’d been turned too. So why?” Wordlessly, Tamaki brought out his phone and pulled up the pictures he’d taken of the museum exhibit, showing them to Kyoya. His eyes widened in recognition at the photos’ contents. “Oh. I see.”

“I never heard from you.” Tamaki whispered. “After moving back to France. After the turning. How come you never told me?”

Kyoya’s breaths were shaky as he answered. “I guess I was just as scared after you left as I was when I could still call you mine.”

“You had no reason to be! I never loved Éclair. It was always you. I went looking for you after I was turned, you know. I thought I could turn you to and we could be together. You were the one I wanted. But when I came to your house, your parents told me you left. You were gone, and I was never able to tell you _I love you Kyoya_.” Tamaki cried.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t know any better and-”

“I thought you no longer cared about me. I th-thought you were tired of my antics and that I w-wasn’t good enough for you. That you f-found someone prettier...”

Tamaki’s sobs paused as a gentle hand was placed on his cheek, a thumb brushing away his tears. He raised his head to see Kyoya smiling softly at him as he spoke, “You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi, yeah, sorry if this is bad


End file.
